From: Pegret01@aol.com
To: jq@edc.ml.org, chfmitchel@hotmail.com, BHappy6@aol.com
Date: Sat, 30 Jan 1999 18:11:53 EST
Subject: JQ: Fic: Grimm's Fairy Tales REVISITED: Rapunzel (1/1)
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FIC: Grimm's Fairy Tales REVISITED: Rapunzel 
(1/1)
By Peggy (pegret01@aol.com)
Finished Jan. 30, 1999

Rating: G
Rating: H, H, H! A bit of I (insanity). If you were optimistic (DEZ!) I
suppose you could pretend it was J/JHR. But it's not. Actually, I guess it's
really DBN, in that J & J don't get along. H/Anaya HR. ::evil grin:: Does that
exist? I don't care. I don't really think it's ML, because it's only me and my
alter egos in it. So...
Rating Summary: H, I, DBN, H/A HR
Archivers: You're braver than I am.
Disclaimer: The usual: my patented easy-to-understand (even for HB executives)
disclaimer! --> Me no own. Please no sue.

**note: what follows is insanity. I do not agree with Kateri on anything
except that the season two writers should all be tied up. However, where she
wants to talk to them about character development, I personally would prefer
to impale some of them with my Lacrosse stick. Thank you, 
                                                                             P
eggy.**

Kateri: <evil grin> I've been talking to the season two writers <gestures
offscreen to where a whole bunch of people are tied together in a big clump>
and we've decided that this Jessie stuff is getting WAY out of line. Come on!
She's a GIRL! We can't have her running around in non-pink clothes doing stuff
like HELPING the Quest team or SAVING people. As punishment for her resistance
to our efforts to "feminize" her, we have talked her agent into letting her
help us out with a few things- namely, Rapunzel. 
Goons: <drag in a struggling Jessie, dressed in a frilly pink ballgown (think
Rapunzel Barbie)>
Jessie: Let go of me, you CREEPS!
Goons: <drop her and leave> 
Jessie: <brushes herself off> 
Kateri: <dons her Oakleys> Lights! 
Jessie: <sheilds her eyes from sudden brightness> 
Kateri: Scenery!
Jessie: <gasps as a tower suddenly shoots up under her and bushes and trees
appear creating a primeval <sp?> forest.> Hey! 

**Disclaimer: I'll keep it simple: Me no own. Please no sue.
Archivers: Whatever.
Note: The characters may start off weird, but assume drugs. For the most part,
they get more and more like themselves as the story goes on.**

Kateri: <backing away slowly> A-a-a-a-a-nd.....Action!

Rapunzel
   as retold by Peggy & the Peeples in her Head

Peggy: <narrator voice> The Beautiful Jessica was combing her long, long, red
hair up in the tower where she had lived her entire life. Humming a little
tune to herself, she braided her silky locks. She fleetingly wondered what it
would be like to have her hair cut really short- up to her shoulders, maybe-
just like her 	gaurdian's. Her gaurdian was Anaya the Sorceress, who had
raised her from a baby up in the tower. The tower had no stairs or door, but
several large windows. 
	Jessica began to hum softly to herself as she scrubbed the floor of the
tower. Her humming grew louder and louder until she was singing. She loved
doing domestic work like this! She didn't know how Anaya the Sorceress could
possibly be brave enough to venture out in the wide, wide world without
someone to protect her. Then she remembered that Anaya was a sorceress.
PsychoKat: She's dumb as a cow! Look at her, scrubbing away! What does she
mean, "without someone to protect her?" Kateri, those drugs you gave her must
work really, really well.
Peggy: <glares at PsychoKat> Ahem? <narrator voice>...Just as the Beautiful
Jessica's beautiful singing reached its peak, the Handsome Prince Jonathan and
his Wise Page Hadji rode by outside. 
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Come, Wise Page Hadji! We must find the girl who is
singing so beautifully. Undoubtably she will be as beautiful as her voice."
Wise Page Hadji: "I don't know about that, Prince Jonathan. That assumption
got you into trouble last week. Remember the Ugly Old Crone With A Beautiful
Singing Voice? You almost vowed to marry her before you found out she was a
good six thousand years older than you."
Handsome Prince Jonathan: <shifts uncomfortably> "You may be right, Wise Page
Hadji. Come. I will climb that tree over yonder, that I might peer into the
window of the tower and make sure that it is not inhabited by another Ugly Old
Crone	With A Beautiful Singing Voice."
Peggy: <narrator voice> Handsome Prince Jonathan then climbed the tree. Upon
seeing the lovely Jessica, he fell out of the tree at the Wise Page Hadji's
feet.
Minion in Charge of Sound Effects: FWUMP!!!
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Oh, Wise Page Hadji! In that tower lives the most
beautiful girl I have ever seen! Since I am on a Quest to find a beautiful
princess to be my wife, I must rescue her from the tower so that we may be wed
and live happily ever after!"
Wise Page Hadji: "Not so fast, Prince Jonathan! Remember last Friday? You
almost married the Devastatingly Beautiful Princess With Homicidal Tendancies.
It would be wise to at least be properly introduced before making any
decisions regarding marriage. And what makes you think she needs rescuing? She
seems to be the picture of domestic tranquility."
Peggy: <narrator voice> The Handsome Prince Jonathan was still eager to
fullfil his Quest- 
PsychoKat: Oh, come on. That's gotta be the worst pun I've heard all day.
Kateri: CUT!!! Hey, look, if you don't like it, you can just-
PsychoKat: Just what?
Peggy: Guys! Please!
PsychoKat & Kateri: Sorry.
Peggy: Thank you. <narrator voice> The Handsome Prince Jonathan was still
eager to fullfil his Quest- no pun intended- to find a beautiful princess to
be his wife. He convinced the reluctant Wise Page Hadji to help him find a way
to get to the beautiful Jessica.
Handsome Prince Jonathan: <thinks> "I know! I will call up to her and have her
lower her beautiful hair from a window, so that I might climb to her chambers
and be properly introduced." 
Wise Page Hadji: <reluctantly> "If I may say so, Prince Jonathan, that seems
like a bad-"
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Nonsense!" 
Peggy: <narrator voice> -cut in the Handsome Prince Jonathan. He strode boldly
to the tower and called out, 
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Beautiful Lady! Lower your long, long hair, that I
might climb to your chambers and be properly introduced!"
Jessica: <leaning out the window> "You mean you're going to climb on my hair?"
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Yes!"
Jessica: <doubtful> "Um... Okay... Just a minute." <disappears into the tower>
Kateri: Cue the hair!!!
Peggy: <narrator voice> The Beautiful Jessica's long, silky red hair came
cascading over the windowsill. 
Wise Page Hadji: "Um, Prince Jonathan, please-"
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Don't interrupt, please! I'm trying- umpf!- to
climb- oof!- up this to my lady's chambers!"
Peggy: <narrator voice> When the Handsome Prince Jonathan had nearly reached
the windowsil, the Beautiful Jessica leaned out to see what progress he had
made. 
Handsome Prince Jonathan: <startled> "Wait a minute! If I'm climbing your
hair... How can you be leaning out the window?"
Peggy: <narrator voice> And with that, the Beautiful Jessica laughed-
Beautiful Jessica: "Hahahahaha!"
Peggy: <narrator voice> -And told them what she had done.
Beautiful Jessica: "I cut it!" <shows off shorter hair>
Wise Page Hadji: "Ingenious."
Beautiful Jessica: "Thank you."
Peggy: <narrator voice> But the Handsome Prince Jonathan was not so easily
satisfied.
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "So... you... cut your hair..."
Wise Page Hadji: <rolls his eyes> "Allow me to cut short this farce. I am the
Wise Page Hadji, assisstant to King Benton and Queen Meach of Emellerville."
Beautiful Jessica: "Where?"
PsychoKat: <annoyed> Yet another bad pun. Just ignore them. 
Pegasus: A...pun?
PsychoKat: You know, M-L-er-ville...
Pegasus: I still don't get it.
PsychoKat: <rolls eyes> Why am I not surprised? 
Kateri: SHUTUP! We're filming here!
Pegasus: <sweatdrop> Sorry!
PsychoKat: Whatever.
Peggy: An-yway... <narrator voice> Next, the Wise Page Hadji introduced his
companion:
Wise Page Hadji: "...and this is King Benton's son, Prince Jonathan."
Kateri: Cut, cut! Hey, Hadji baby, the whole *point* of this is the odd names.
Soooo... he's "*Handsome* Prince Jonathan," 'kay?
Wise Page Hadji: That's entirely a matter of opinion.
Beautiful Jessica: "Nice to meet you, Wise Page Hadji. I'm...er...Well, my
name is Jessica, but I'm not sure what my title is."
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "How 'bout "Slammin' Jess-Babe?""
Beautiful Jessica: "Um... how 'bout NOT?" <rolls eyes>
PsychoKat: Ah, the drugs begin to wear off. <amusedly evil grin>
Wise Page Hadji: "How is it that you do not know your title?"
Beautiful Jessica: "Well, I've never been out of the tower, really, and I have
no idea what the outside world is like! So I've never had to introduce myself
before. I'm afraid I'm kinda...clueless!"
Wise Page Hadji: <looking at Handsome Prince Jonathan still trying to climb
the hair but slipping downward faster than he moves up; mutters> "Who does
*that* remind me of?"
Beautiful Jessica: <doesn't hear him> "My gaurdian, Anaya the Sorceress,
should be back any-"
Anaya the Sorceress: <appears in a poof of smoke, floating behind Handsome
Prince Jonathan> "Aha! Visitors to the tower!"
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Aaaah!"
Peggy: <narrator voice> Surprised, the Handsome Prince Jonathan lost his grip
and plummeted to the ground.
Minion in charge of Sound Effects: FWUMP!!
Wise Page Hadji: "Hello, I am the Wise Page Hadji, assistant to-"
Anaya the Sorceress: "Well, hel-LO, Hadji!"
Wise Page Hadji: <flustered> "Um... Yes, well..."
PsychoKat: HEY! It's MY job to sexually harass hot guys around here, and I'll
be-
Kateri: QUIET!!! <hits PsychoKat with the megaphone>
PsychoKat: Oof...
Peggy: <narrator voice> Suddenly, Anaya the Sorceress and the Wise Page Hadji
noticed that the Handsome Prince Jonathan seemed to be arguing with the
Beautiful Jessica. They watched for a few minutes as the Beautiful Jessica
screamed at the Handsome Prince Jonathan, and laughed a bit when she began to
pull his hair and kick at him. He merely whined and complained about her
unladylike behavior...
Handsome Prince Jonathan: "Ow! Who RAISED you, WOLVES???"
Jessica: "Why... I... oughta... You jerk! How DARE you insult my beautiful
Pink Dress? I'll have you know that this was given to me by a very nice man, a
Mr. Lance Falk, and if you have a problem with that, why-"
PsychoKat: Oh, that's MUCH better. Except for the pink, that is.
Pegasus: Oh, I think it's CUTE!!
PsychoKat: You would.
Anaya the Sorceress: "So, what say we let these two work out their
differences...alone?"
Wise Page Hadji: "Well... All right..." <to himself> "What could go wrong?"
Peggy: Seems the Wise Page Hadji isn't quite so wise after all. 
PsychoKat: Nice plot twist.
Kateri: Thanks.
Pegasus: Hey, somebody stop that Jessie chick! She's gonna wreck that great
dress!
Peggy: <regular voice> Well, that about wraps it up for this fic. 
PsychoKat: Yeah, let's get out of here before Kateri comes up with some new
scheme...

<3 Peggy & the Peeples in her Head, speaking out for the first time in a long
time! 

Kateri: Wait! I have the best idea! All I need is four Robot Spies and a tank
of Nerve Gas...

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