From: Ina-chan [Dark stage. Suddenly a light comes up over a single grand piano being played by Irina Kafka. The music starts out melodious, then cranks into show tune mode.] *spotlight flips on Jonny in a tux, singing* Jonny: We'd like to welcome you tonight *another light flips on Hadji, also in a tux, also singing* Hadji: To celebrate something so right *another spotlight on Jess, also also in a tux, also singing* Jessie: And get awards for stuff you wriiiiite *The Doc and Race join the kids* It's the 1999 Wildey Awards!! Jonny: So our show was cancelled, what the hey? Benton: We knew you all had more to say. Race: And as long as you're writing we're okay! *wink* Background singers: The Wildey Awards! Hadji: So what if Jessie never dated Jonny? *snicker* Jonny: *glare* At least _I_ never dated the vill-ony! Race: *stern look* I wish you kids would stop bein' so 'onry. Background singers: Its all something that fanfiction can fiiiiiiix! Jessie: So what if I got trapped in a pink coullot? Benton: So what if I changed my hair do a lot? Race: So what if we all changed in season two a lot? Background singers: Its all something that fanfiction can fiiiiiiix! Benton: We know you've all got your own opinions Jonny: At least as many as ol' Zin has minions! *smirk* Jessie: If they were all robots would they be "Zinions"? (Team: *groan*) Background singers: At least it rhyyyyyyyyymed! Hadji: Angst, Yaoi, DBN, HR Jessie: It doesn't matter what you are! Race: Though better if it isn't WAR! Background singers: Hiiiiii Race! *smooches* Benton: We're here tonight to honor you. Jonny: *scowl* For all the hell you've put us through! Jessie: *showing off her tux* Don't whine, they do some good stuff too! Everyone: And so without further ado We very fondly welcome you ToThe 1999 Wildey Fanfic Awards! <> [camera pans across the ML Audience then to the stage as it brightens to reveal Lesli looking very chic in a female tux.] Lesli: Pssst! C'mon Ina-chan... get out here already. Ina-chan: I can't. Lesli: Stop fooling around! Ina-chan: I'm serious! I'm stuck! Lesli: Lesli: I told you not to wear those ridiculous platform shoes. Ina-chan: Don't you make fun of my "make Ina-chan look taller shoes". Besides, its the only one that would go with my dress. Lesli: What the--- why in the world did you pick a dress that's too long for you? Ina-chan: It's the only one I can find in the store. Lesli: Why didn't you ask the sales lady or something. Ina-chan: I did... Lesli: And? Ina-chan: She said go try the kids department... (This is sadly, a true story)... WAAAAAAAH! Lesli: This is the Wildey's Ina-chan, not the Oscars. Ina-chan: Oh, okay. Lesli: OKAAAAY! Let's get this show on the road! Hello everyone! This is the moment of truth! WELCOME TO THE FIRST QUARTER OF THE QUESTORS JQML WILDEY AWARDS Ina-chan: WAI! WAI! WAI! Lesli: When we honour the top three favourite fics of Questors JQML for the months of January, February, and March 1999. Ina-chan: WAI! WAI! WAI! The FFAC would like to congratulate everyone who participated. We all know that all the voters felt a tremendous amount of pressure choosing their top three favourite fics. And Troy's message to the FFAC sums it all up... every fic deserves an award. And indeed all of them wonderful fics do! We would just like to emphasize that the Wildeys is not inteded to be a contest. It is merely instrumental in trying to get more and more fics and fic writers to come out and share their talents. Based from the staggering number of fics for only the FIRST three months of the year... I think we accomplished a lot! So all you fic writers! Pat yourselves on the back! You did a wonderful job! And don't stop now! We still have 3 more Quarters to go before the 1999 Annual Awards! Isn't that exciting? Lesli: Si! Senyora! Si! But we are babbling too much. Let's get on with the "good stuff", shall we? Our first category is the dark, sad, depressing world of ANGST fics. Ina-chan: Who else is more appropriate to present the sufferings of the Quest clan than the Priest of Angst himself... Ezekiel Rage and... uhmm... some other guy in a black robe... heh-heh Lesli: Ina-chan: Weh-weh-WAIT Lesli! Don't leave me... I'm fa-- <>[Spotlight focuses on Rage and a black robed minion walk to the podium. Rage holds his book and looks threatening] Brother Carl: Um... *gulp* H-h-hi... I've never been to an awards show before... and... um... good evening... Rage: May the death of the world be on you all. *waves* Brother Carl: Goodness... *adjusts his glasses* It says here that many of you like to write fanfics where members of the quest family suffer... Rage: *eyebrow twitch* Brother Carl:... get seriously hurt... Rage: *shoulders slump* Brother Carl: ...or even die! Rage: *SOB!* Abbey! Carla! Brother Carl: *pats him consolingly* It's all right honored Rage! We'll go blow something up after this. You'll feel much better! Here, you even have the honor of opening the envelope! Rage: *sniffles but straightens* The most vengeful winners of the contest of the fanfiction for Angst art... 3rd Place is a 4-way tie! Brother Carl: My! I never realized how many people wanted to see the Quests suffer. Rage: The fics are.. A Day in the Life of Jessie Bannon by Amy Lynn Humphries Letters Series 1- Rachel's Letter by Mad Cat Missing Pieces by Sarah Gridler Shattered Mirror: The Shard of Conflict by Ina-chan Brother Carl: The second place goes to... Emerald Eyes by LesliWeird Rage: And the top favourite Angst fic, once again is a tie... Full of Grace by Debbie Kluge One Last Sunrise by Melana Zin SO SAYETH THE ENVELOPE OF RAGE! <> [Camera pans back to Lesli] Lesli: Well, I guess that's that! Okay Ina-chan, lets go on with the next category... Ina-chan? Now where the heck did she go? [As if on-cue, a female figure in a green jumpsuit and ski-mask, wrapped in a safety harness and cables drops from the ceiling ala-Tom Cruise with the theme from "Mission Impossible" blaring in the background. She dangles just above Lesli's eye level.] Lesli: Uhmmm... Ina-chan? Isn't that the wrong colour for this kind of thing? Figure: HEY! I happen to like green! Lesli: SARA! What are you doing here? Where's Ina-chan? Sara: She's... uhm... stuck... heh-heh... so she asked me to help you introduce the next presentor so I got here as fast as I can. Lesli: Alrighty then! The next category are the ADVENTURE/EPISODIC fics. Sara: OH COOL! Can I show some of my Tae Kwon Do moves? Lesli: Not now, we need them to present. Sara: Okaaa-----aaaay! JEREMIAH SURD LOG OOOO------OOON <> [Camera pans to Surd's mecha-wheelchair, as it hovers up to the podium, bordered on either side by Lorenzo and Julia in their best duds] Surd: khsss Magnificent! Look at all these eager minds plugged into the Internet for this moment! If I could harness this power through Questworld... Julia: You're SUCH a genius Jeremiah Lorenzo: Yeah, whatever. Listen up punks! We're here for one thing and one thing only. Mayhem and destruction! Julia: Lorenzo, you dolt! That's two things. Give me that envelope! *she rips it out of his hands* The top three placers for adventure fanfiction are: 3rd Place: Past, Present, Future part 1 by Michelle aka Bryne 2nd Place: Cruel Reality by JQ Fan Surd: EXCELLENT! Now Julia! Lorenzo! While everyone is paying attention! Release it now! Lorenzo: Release what boss? Surd: The ner---- I mean announce the favourite adventure fic of the ML.. Julia: The favourite adventure fic is: Desert Danger by Jonny Security: Alright Surd, we know you're planning to control the audience with a nerve gas. Hand it over. Surd: Why officer, whatever gave you that idea? We're merely here to present an award! Lorenzo: Well ring my bell! Did you mean release THIS nerve gas? Julia: Idiot. <> [Camera pans back to Lesli as security leads the trio offstage] Lesli: Well... that was interesting. Our next presentor came all the way from the mysterious mountains of Asia and needs no further introduction. To present the top places for the Favourite Humour fics... please welcome... Mr. Amok! <> [A mist spreads across the stage and a hulking hairy shadow suddenly appears behind the podium. Jungle sounds and drums playing in the background.] Amok: Grrruhhruuuhn krgruuuhn nngruuhhgn rrrrrrrrrr (subtitles: I am delighted to welcome you to the 1999 first quarterly Wildey Awards!) Amok: Reeeeeuuuungh rrrrrrh huh-gnruuunh (subtitles: please try the delicious appetizers in the main lobby) Amok: Urrrrrghn nngh rrrrrrr gaarrrrrhuuuugn (The winners n the humor category are:) Murrrnghh plunnnnh: Mrrr ummummmurrhhh huhhh (3rd Place: An Uneventful Day by Minuet) Errrrrrnnhhh plunnnh: Eeeeerfhhh luhhhh muuunghhh (2nd Place: Dear Light Haired Bleach Co. by Melissa) Ruuuuuueeeegh nuuurghhh plunnnh Ghurrrh narhhhtsptfsssstt (And finally, the favourite humor fic of the ML is Body Snatcher by LesliWeird) <> [Amok claps his hairy hands as Jungle sounds and music rise as a mist covers the stage and Amok disappears as mysteriously as he appeared. Camera pans back to Lesli.] Lesli: Thank you Mr. Amok. Apparently he had a dental appointment right after, so he had to leave right away. Now... comes the category that everybody simply loves! What else, but the spice of life? Romance! And first off in the Romantic category is the JJHR--- Figure: DENIAL IS SUCH A HAAAAARSH THING! Lesli: Don't tell me... Ina-chan's still stuck. Alexis: Actually, her legs started to cramp. She really shouldn't wear those ridiclous platform shoes! Lesli: Well, what can we do? The vanity of human beings... Its nice of you to join us, 'Lex. Alexis: My pleasure. Lesli: Who else is more appropriate to present the JJHR category than the two figures who influenced it all... Please welcome, the ghosts of John Leger and Lady Caroline. <> [Jean Leger and the Tragic Lady Caroline manifest in front of the podium] Jean: My fiancee and I would like to thank you for choosing us to introduce this topic. We, of course, being one of the show's finest examples of true romance Caroline: Jean you cad! I saw you look at that piano girl! Jean: Caroline, please! I am trying to read the prompter. Caroline: This is exactly why I killed you in the first place Jean! Jean: *turns to her* Caroline, I love you. Caroline: *dreamy sigh* ooooh Jeeeeaaaan Jean: And the top three placers in the J&J HR category are 3rd Place...Identitat part 1 by Shadowlie Caroline: 2nd Place is a tie! Emerald Eyes by LesliWeird Happy Bithday, Jess by JQ Fan Jean: And the favourite fic that embodies our-- I mean JJHR love is... Desert Danger by Jonny Caroline: Congratulations! <>[Camera pans to back to Lesli and Alexis. But before lesli can speak, a ringing sound suddenly goes off on stage. Alexis digs through a petunia pot and pulls out a portable cell phone.] Alexis: Yo! Talk! Lesli: 'Lex! You're not supposed to have a cell phone on during the show. Alexis: Gotcha! Pstw! This isn't a real world theatre anyway. Besides, that was Ina-chan. Lesli: What is it now? Alexis: I'm not really sure... something about staying put 'cause she has everything well taken care off for the next category. Lesli: Next category... Alexis: What is the next category anyway? Lesli: Its HJHR... But what could she hav--- WHY THAT SNEAKY LITTLE!!! Alexis: While Lesli goes backstage for damage control... cue in the--- [Sounds of a helicopter permeate the room and drown out Alexis' voice as two women repel down from the ceiling] Twins: We are the daughters of Zin! Descended from Genghis Khan, we are the rightful rulers of this world! Out of Chaos the Zin Dynasty will rise again! Melana: We are here to present the award for best Hadji and Jessie HR! Anaya: Hah! Ridiculous! Hadji loves ME and we all know it. [Flip scene to backstage to Ina-chan sitting on Hadji's lap and clinging to his neck. Hadji makes a defeated sigh as Ina-chan turns to the camera... Ina-chan: Hey Anaya! Lesli jumps into the scene and starts to strangle Ina-chan with Hadji in-between them. Screen immediately switches onstage] Melana: Apparently your grip on reality needs some work, sister. Anaya: *huff* He's only with them to forget me! Melana: He must really want to forget you. Anaya: Sister, just read the damned envelope... as if we already don't know whose name is in there... Melana: The favourite fics in this category are: 2nd Place... Body Snatcher by LesliWeird and 1st Place... Emerald Eyes by LesliWeird Anaya: Congratulations. <> [Camera pans back to Alexis] Alexis: Well... We're still on the HR Category... and I'm all alone. Jonny (Poland): Not for long you're not. Alexis: Aren't you showing up in the wrong category? Jonny: Hey you showed up in the JJHR category to make us JJHR's miserable, why can't I do the same? Alexis: Whoo-pee. Can we just introduce the next presentors before we jump at each other's throats. Jonny: Its just that piano girl and the life sucker. Alexis: Nice. DBN's still canon, you know. Jonny: Is not. Alexis: Is too. Jonny: Not. Alexis: Too. <> [Camera pans away from the still arguing duo as Irina Kafka and Elise Renoir walk up to the podium, Irina keeping her distance] Elise: So, I hear this ML is mostly young girls? Irina: excuse me miss but. Shouldn't we present the avard? Elise: You know, you're not so bad looking Irina: EEP! Irina: The vinners for the DBN HR category are: 3rd Place: Life Goes On part 1 by Andrea Sowers 2nd Place: Grimm's Fairy Tales REVISITED: Rapunzel by Peggy AND 1st Place goes to Emerald Eyes by LesliWeird! Congratulations! From: Ina-chan <> [Camera pans across the audience] Voice: HEY! OVER HERE! [Camera jerks to a stop and starts searching for the source of the voice] Voice: More to the left! OVER HERE! [Camera focuses on a figure standing by the aisle. Meach, in a stunning sequined red evening gown to rival Mata Hari herself, waves cheerfully] Meach: Well, since Ina-chan and Lesli are still spending some quality time together with Hadji... [Scene flips to backstage... Hadji: Girls... the only way to end this is to take a sword and divide me in half. Then take which ever part you choose. Ina-chan: Hadji-sama! You can't be serious! We can NEVER do that to you! Lesli: Don't be ridiculous Ina. He's using that King Solomon thingy trick to test us. I'm sorry Hadji-baby, but we're not falling for that. Hadji: No. Seriously... please... cut me in half with a sword... end my misery! PLEASE! ] [Back to Meach] Meach:...and Alexis and Jonny are currently... preoccupied... [Scene flips to battle scene outside... Alexis: IS TOO!!! Jonny: IS NOOOOT!!!!] [Back to Meach, again] Meach: Well then, without futher adieu... Welcome Agent Corbin and Pasha Peddler to announce the placers of the YAOI HR <> [Camera pans up to the stage as Corbin and Pasha walk up to the podium] Pasha: Hey there folks. How's it jammin'? Corbin: ahem. We're here officially to present the award for Yaoi HR. Pasha: In case ya didn't know, that's man to man love, man. Corbin: Ah, it reminds me of my days back in basic training... Pasha: ooookay ... a tad too much information Hootie mama... The top YAOI fics are... 3rd Place goes to Front Door/ Backside by Kait Sudol Corbin: 2nd Place goes to Another Little Diddy by Kait Sudol Pasha: And the favourite fic for macho love is... Body Snatcher by LesliWeird Corbin: It's so beautiful! hold me! Pasha: Get off me you creepy son of a jackal! <>[Camera pans back Meach] Meach: Of course, we can't leave the Romance section without touching the most important of all romances. So welcome our OTHER HR presentors, and excuse me while I ready my battl-- I mean... bathroom... hehehehe... I have to powder my nose in the little ladies room... 'scuse me... <> [Camera pans to stage to show Alice Starseer and Alena Stasney stroll gracefully up to the podium, covertly glaring at each other] Alice: Howdy y'all! Love is a beautiful thing, and it isn't just confined to Jonny, Hadji, and Jessie. Alena: Yes, love is beautiful... [smirk] especially when it sticks around. Alice: [glare] I didn't see your name on him! Alena: Nonsense. I was only talking about love... a more mature, adult kind of love, instead of childish romances. Alice: [seethes] Alena: Now, the vlacers in the category of Other HR are: 3rd Place is a tie between Missing Pieces by Sara Gridler and The Ripple Effect (Epilogue) by Ina-chan Alice: 2nd Place is topped by Two Much of a Good Man by Minuet and Light Alena: And finally, the favourite Other HR fic is... Full of Grace by Debbie Kludge Vonderful! Congratulations everyvone! Alice: Hey, who's that crazy lady in the back pointing a chicken launcher at us? <> [The lights start to flicker... camera pans slowly to Meach who's caught in the act of throwing an object out of sight] Meach: What? What? It wasn't me! I didn't do anything! HEY! What the is that? [Camera moves upstage to show a hole growing in the space time continuum. It rips itself open and spits out a stunned Whoopie Golberg and Billie Crystal] Whoopie: What the heck is this? Didn't I already do the Oscars? Billie: What exactly are we supposed to do?! Whoopie: Improvise! Say something funny Billie: ...President... Quayle... Whoopie: Oooooh, I get it! We're here as a crossover from the real thing...niiiice... The placers in the crossover fanfic category are... A LOT! My goodness! All you people really do love messing around with other storylines, don't you? Billie: Just read the danged envelope. Whoopie: 3rd Place is a tie... Leave of Absence by Carrie E. Byrd and Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places by Jubilee Billie: 2nd Place is still another tie... Another Little Diddy by Kait Sudol and The Ripple Effect (Epilogue) by Ina-chan Whoopie: And the Favourite Crossover fic is ALSO a tie! The Ripple Effect (part 16) by Ina-chan and When in Rome... When in Greece by Mad Cat Billie: Congratulations... whoever the heck you are! <>[Camera pans to show a girl in a stylish black evening dress and a guy in a matching tuxedo, tugging his collar and lookin uncomfortable] Maryke: Stop doing that Fey. Feyjin: You guys ask me to do anything... I'll do the art graphic stuff and everything... but why do I have to wear this penguin suit for? Maryke: Oh, stop acting like a baby... we'll only do this only four more times... Feyjin: FOUR MORE?!?!? Maryke: Our next category features the movement of the soul... music of course. And please welcome two infamous music figures in the JQ Universe... Milos Dunzec and Anna Kafka... Feyjin: Or at least what's left of her... Maryke: That's cold FRANCIS, real cold... <> [Camera switches to stage as Milos Dunzec stumbles to the podium in a straight jacket, followed by the specter of Anna Kafka] Anna: Aaaaaah! I just love music, don't you Milos? Milos: KYAAAHH! Get away! Anna: Music really brings life and depth to any work, even a written one, wouldn't you agree? Milos: I need my sedatives... Anna: At least you won't be exploiting this music. The top three favourite fics for this category are: 3rd Place... Just a Girl by Jubilee 2nd Place... Tears in Heaven by LeChele Gishi And the ML's favourite music fic is... Full of Grace by Debbie Kludge Milos:...oooh... bunnies! <> [Camera moves to show Sam and Liz poring over a binder. Liz looks up and immediately pulls the binder out of sight, giving Sam a quick kick on the shin] Sam: OWW! What did you do that for? Liz: We're on... Sam: Oh! We weren't looking at the script! Honest! Liz: No we weren't! We were just... uhmm... practicising. Sam: Yeah! We were? Liz: Yes we were! So everyone please welcome our presentors for the vignette category... Mrs. Evans and Gustavo <> [Camera moves again to show Mrs. Evans and Gustavo step up to the podium] Mrs. Evans: Evenin'. We're here on behalf of the vignette category. Gustavo: Si. Much like our regrettably short parts, vignettes fit in a lot of emotion and information in a relatively small category. Mrs. Evans: No skin off my nose if I don't show up on screen too much. All I was doing was housework. Gustavo: At least you lived. The ML favourite vignette fanfiction are: Mrs. Evans: 3rd Place goes to... Shattered Mirror: The Shard of Conflict by Ina-chan Gustavo: Dos is... Emerald Eyes by LesliWeird Mrs. Evans: My! This 1st placer seems to be the most popular fic in the 1st Quarter. Gustavo: It seems like it, no? The favorito... once again is... Full of Grace by Debbie Kludge Mrs. Evans: Call me if you ever need your trophies polished. [All lights suddenly turn off, and an eerie green light filters through the entire room. VOICE: QuestWorld Log on... subject: The JQML Wildey Awards... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... GOING HOT!] [IRIS's cold computerized voice echoes from somewhere behind the podium] IRIS: As one of the planet's most sophisticated computer systems, I represent the future, and was therefore the obvious choice for this category. The future holds many exciting avenues for technology, and an extension of the JQ timeline to its fullest potential. The results for this category as computed are: 3rd Place... a 3-way tie... Better than a Crystal Ball part 2 by vicki y. Ethan part 1 by Dana Cain and Life Goes On part 1 by Andrea Sowers 2nd Place goes to... One Last Sunrise by Melana Zin And the ML's favourite Future fanfiction piece is... Full of Grace by Debbie Kludge IRIS: Initiating congratulatory module. <> [Lights return to normal to reveal Kait and Chriss sitting in the audience] Chriss: Well, well... isn't time passing us by so quickly... It's time to introduce the presentors for the Past category... Kait: Speaking of the past... it only seemed like yesterday that we had the 1st JQML Fanfic Awards, wasn't it? Chriss: And it even seemed a lot more like yesterday that we were scrambling around to put together this 2nd JQML Fanfiction Awards. Kait: Well, this is just to honour and commemorate ALL our fellow oldies who was involved with the creation of the original JQML Awards (specially 'Lex). Not all of them are active or around anymore... but this part is for all of us... for without our first step... the motivation to continue the Awards wouldn't have happened. Chriss: Cheers to us!*** Kait: Now please welcome two very present military men to reminisce with PAST fics... <> [Camera pans to stage as General Vostok marches up to the podium, followed by Captain Havell] Vostok: Good evening, yes? I am very pleased to be here, though I am not qvite sure why I am in the past category... Havell: Maybe because you cannot let go of it. Vostok: Vhat? You whale hugging yutz! What makes you think you can talk that way to General Vostok? Havell: My submarine is bigger than yours. Vostok: Havell: And it has a tentacle. Vostok: You are a sick man, comrade. The winners for Past fanfiction, yes? 3rd place is a 3-way tie... Dear John part 2 by Meach The Ripple Effect (epilogue) by Ina-chan and Shattered Mirror: The Shard of Conflict by Ina-chan Havell: 2nd Place goes to An Uneventful Day by Minuet Vostok: And finally, the ML's favourite Past fic is... Letters Series: 1 - Rachel's Letter by Mad Cat Congratulations! Havell: You know, my sub is parked out back, if you would like to see for yourself. Vostok: Ugh! Nyet! Weird-boy. <> [Camera pans to Jacklyn looking at Ina-chan, now in her usual blue denim overalls and white canvas shoes, disapprovingly> Ina-chan: What? You didn't expect me to stay in a Godawful dress with those shoes, ne? Jacklyn: But the ceremony isn't finished yet. Ina-chan: Doesn't matter! Just announce the next category and the next presentor... Jacklyn: The next category is ALTERNIVERSE or ALTERNATE REALITIES. If you think about it, all fanfics fall under this category... but what we refer in this category are major alternation in the Jonny Quest universe that can change the nature of the story forever... And presenting this category is Dr. Zin and Professor Gunderson. <> [Zin's face appears at a big screen] Ina: Whoah, aren't you supposed to have a partner?! Zin: Insolence! I killed him. Jacklyn: Prof. Gunderson got killed again? Poor man. Zin: I shall share the stage with no one! Zin: Aaah, alternate realities, full of infinite potential. Potential for the rise of the Zin dynasty and my conquest of the World!! ..ahem. Regardless, each of these worlds holds boundless possibilities. The favourites for the alternative reality category are numerous as well... 3rd Place is a tie between... Downward Pull by Six Nichols and Into the Valley of Darkness 6:2 by Ina-chan 2nd Place is a tie between... Into the Valley of Darkness 5:4 by Ina-chan and Missing Pieces by Sarah Gridler Finally, the favourite alterniverse fics are... Identitat part 1 by Shadowlie and Jade's Trick Canto 5: The Lark by Sara Metz Zin: Yes... continue... the more you alter the Quest family dynamics, the stronger I become and soon... [Vince Vance hops up to the podium and presses "mute" button on Zin's screen] Vince: No need for introductions... Ace Reporter Vince Vance coming to you live from the 1999 first Quarterly Wildey awards! As you can see the air is thick with excitement as to who will win the NF, that's Not Fanfic, Fanfic awards. I was called in special because you know *point and wink* I never tell fiction. Aaaaaaaand the fics are: 3rd goes to... Top Ten List by Vicki Y. 2nd is bagged by... 15 Things to do to Get Some Interesting Responses from People on a College Campus..... by Carolyn Snowraven And finally, the fave is... Duke's Questionnaire #4 by Shawn Vince: Whew, glad that's over. How's my hair? <> [LesliWeird and Ina-Chan step up the podium] Ina: I'd just like to point out for all of you out there that the Wildey awards are dedicated to the one and only Doug Wildey, who was the creator of... Lesli: The classic series... Ina: That's right! The Classic JQ which is the real root of TRA and IF the producers had been doing their job... Lesli: JQ is cool no matter what JQ it is. Which is why we have a whole mailing list for it in the first place. However, sometimes the list gets just as interesting as the show, and it's fun to stick yourself and your friends into your fics. Well, buckle your seat belts, 'cause you're gettin' an award for it! And the top three faves are: 3rd place goes to... Jade's Trick Canto 5: The Lark by Sara Metz 2nd Place is taken by... We Like to Party! by Dark Sentinel And the fave ML fic is... Two Much of a Good Man by Minuet and Light Lesli: Congrats! Any more political statements while you're up here? Ina: Well, now that you mention it... Lesli: oh dear... [But Ina-chan is interrupted by a "Tarzan" call] Ina: Now what the heck is that? Lesli: Saved by the yell? [The two girls gape in surprise as Chim-chim swings onstage on a highwire] Chim-chim: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Ina: Uhmmm... Isn't that kinda dangerous? Chim-chim: Yep! Isn't it cool? Or should I say... insane? Lesli: Let me guess, you're introducing the next category... Chim-chim: Yes, indeed I am... I have to leave soon though, before the folks realize I snuck out... Ina: Them... shoot away! Chim-chim: Presenting... the Insanity category! Please welcome... a couple of insane era misplaced dudes! You know who they are... <> [Camera moves up to the stage where the Williams and Rodney clan from the Jersey Pine Barrens shuffle up to the podium] Sarah: Welcome all of ye! Mother: Aye. Josiah, the envelope. Josiah: Mother: Ye brung it did ye not? Rodney: What the devil be this piece of machinery? Josiah: Woman, YOU were supposed to bring the envelope! Mother: Not I, ye filthy yank! Sarah: Can't we all just get along?! Sarah: Much better. The winners are: 3rd Place is gotten by... Insanity, Not Insanity part 1-3 by Sharon 2nd Place is... Two Much of a Good Man by Minuet and Light And the ML favourite is... Body Snatcher by LesliWeird Rodney: A bearded man in a silver coach... Mother: better late than never. [The background singers (who are actually WAR ladies in disguise) crowd onto the stage, blowing kisses back to Race] Background singer leader (who was actually Amy da Tigger... in disguise): Hi! We figured since this whole show is a spoof anyway, we were the perfect ones to announce this category. Then it's on to our favorite: WAR! Race: *off stage* FUR ON A CATFISH! BSL: *giggle* The winners in the parody and spoof category are: 2nd place is a tie between... Another Little Diddy by Kait Sudol and Jack and Jill by Stacy Murphy While the ML favourite is... The 3 Musk-ETTE-teers part 9 by Dez Background singers: Congratulations! <> [Camera switches to show Jade and Estella walk on stage, both glaring at the backup singers] Jade: Mmmm... we all know Race Bannon has several loves of his life Estella: A dozen of whom just left the stage? Jade: Right! And if there's one thing that's more fun than cold hard cash... It's...well Race... Estella: Jade: But making fun of Race comes in a close third Estella: That is why we are pleased to announce the ML fave of the WAR Fanfic category... Hot Date? by Michelle Curtin Race: *still off stage* is it safe yet? <> Ina-chan: Well... Lesli... its finally come... Lesli: Yes. It's sad isn't it? Ina-chan: Yes indeed. It's finally the last category. Can yo believe it! This actually marks the official end of the 1st Quarter! Lesli: It kinda makes you reluctant to let go, doesn't it? Ina-chan: But we must! And there's no need to be sad! The 2nd Quarter Awards is just around the corner! Isn't that exciting? Lesli: Well then... lets get going and finish this... Ina-chan: Introducing the final category for the 1st Quarter of the JQML Wildeys... Lesli: Family Category... please welcome Grampa Doug and Mama Neela... Ina-chan: "Mama"? Lesli: Well, you "I" don't hate her... [Camera pans as Grandpa Doug ambles onto the stage, escorting Neela by the arm] Neela: Welcome all. We are here because family is essential. My love for my son Hadji, and Mr. Wildey's for his Grandson Jonny are some of the most potent in the series. Doug: Right, and if you can't count on your family to be there for you, who can you count on? Neela: Thank you all for writing, and especially in this category. I'm sure your own parents are very proud. Doug: And the Family fic favourites are... Neela: 3rd Place is a tie between... Missing Pieces by Sarah Gridler and Shattered Mirror: The Shard of Conflict by Ina-chan Doug: 2nd Place is taken by An Uneventful Day by Minuet Neela: Finally, the favourite Family fic is... Ocean by Dana Cain Doug: Congratulations, and thanks for Keeping JQ alive! <> Lesli: Well... its finally over! What else can we say other than... FFAC: SEE YOU IN THE NEXT QUARTER! Ina-chan: WAI! WAI! [All the participating JQ characters comes for a final bow onstage... Zin still babbling in "mute"... Meach cornering Benton in the QRV... Jonny and Alexis reverting to a glaring match... Ina-chan and Lesli making faces behind Anaya's back... Sara and Chim-chim having a swinging match in the ceiling... as lights fade to black. ~~@@~~ Awards ceremony originally written by LesliWeird (doncha think she deserves an Award for this guys? ^_^.) and modified by Ina-chan ***I actually put words in Kait and Chriss' mouths in the PAST segment. I don't remember all the oldies who was involved in the original awards. Alexis, please cite all of them. All of you deserve credit and applause for starting this. Chriss, BTW, was the original person who took over the JQML Awards after Alexis... before I made the crazy decision of taking over. ^_^.--Ina-chan DISCLAIMER: All JQ and JQ Characters belong to HB. Used without permission. ML people belong to themselves... also used without permission... please don't hurt me. ^_^. All for fun... no money made.