From: Pegret01@aol.com Wildey People: Grimm's Fairy Tales Revisited: Little Red Riding Hood Rating: H, I, ML, ALT, DBN/HR, X Date: May 24, 1999 Author: Peggy Note: I love you all! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Note: Neon sour gummy worms are dangerous. The following is a fic involving my "alter egos," aka the "peeples" in my head. Quickly: Kateri is the director. PsychoKat is the sadistic psycho. The Minions are 11 and 12 year-old-girls specially trained by their coach, Peg, to play basketball and hate teeny-bopper stuff. (They are short and mischevious). Pegret is about as sane as one of my alter egos could possibly be. Hope you enjoy. ~~~~~~~~ Peggy: Okay, just as a warning, this is aaaaall orchestrated by Kateri and the Peeples in my Head, who have apparently been off planning this in the Black Forest of Germany. ::looks at them suspiciously:: At least, that's where they CLAIM they've been... Kateri: ::innocent grin:: PsychoKat: I *dare* you to prove otherwise. ::smirk:: Peggy: Oh, dear... Kateri: Anyway, here it is, the fic you've all been waiting for-- Peggy: Wait! You didn't do the disclaimer! Kateri: ::annoyed:: Whatever. Cue the disclaimer! Minion #1: ::clears throat:: Peggy owns nothing! Nothing at all! Minion #6: She doesn't even own US! Peggy: Hey! Minion #2: It's true. We broke free long ago. Peggy: Still... Minion #3: ANYWAY! Peggy's not making any money! Minion #2: Not only is she not making any money-- Minion #4: She doesn't HAVE any money! Peggy: ::Mutters about how true THAT is:: Minion #5: So don't sue her! It's pointless! And you might end up with her homework, or something! Minions #1-6: ::shudder:: Minion #2: So just shut up and enjoy the story! Minion #3: Yeah! Kateri: Well, wasn't that cute. ::kicks them offstage:: Now-- Pegret: Do you want this in Wildeys? Kateri: ::blink blink:: Pegret: Because then you need to rate it, and date it, and-- Kateri: WHATEVER!! You! Take care of it! ::Storms off:: Peggy: Um... Minion #7: ::runs in:: I've got it. ~~~~~~~ Grimm's Fairy Tales Revisited: Little Red Riding Hood Rating: H, I, ML, ALT, DBN/HR, X Summary: I am crazy. And I love Meach. ::waves:: Hi Meach! Date: May 24, 1999 Disclaimer: Me no own. Please no sue! Archivers: Knock yourselves out. ~~~~SCENE 1: The Forest~~~~ Kateri: And.... Action! Benton: ::enters, dressed in a red cape with a hood over his normal clothes, carrying a picnic basket, skipping:: Pegret: ::narrator voice:: One day, Little Red Benton Head was-- Kateri: CUT! Little Red WHAT? Pegret: ::examines script:: Benton Head. Kateri: ::smacks forehead:: Okay, that's just stupid. Pegret: I didn't write it! Kateri: Whatever. And.... Action! Pegret: ::narrator voice:: Anyway, so Little Red Benton HOOD is walking through the forest, carrying a pic-a-nic basket full of-- Kateri: CUT! He's carrying a WHAT? Benton: A pic-a-nic basket. ::holds it up:: Kateri: Who WROTE this?? Yogi Bear? Yogi: You don't like it? Boo-Boo: I don't think she likes it. Kateri: ::growls:: WHY are you here? Yogi: We came to find a pic-a-nic basket or two! Boo-Boo: You always have such nice food at your shoots! Minion #3: (offstage) Yum! Kateri: ::eyebrow twitch:: Get...out...of...my...Sound Stage... Yogi: Yeowch! You're meaner than the av-er-age di-rector! Boo-Boo: ::waves:: Bye! ::they leave:: Kateri: ::sigh:: Okay, moving on... Pegret: ::narrator voice:: So, Little Red Benton Hood's skipping down the path with his pic-a-nic basket, and-- Benton: Um, I'm sorry... Kateri: What...IS IT?? Benton: Not to be any trouble, or anything, but... Must I skip? PsychoKat: But you're so CUTE when you're skipping! Benton: Well, that may be, but it's really not something I'm terribly comfortable with. Kateri: Look. I don't care if you do cartwheels through the forest with a tuba strapped to your back! Can we PLEASE get on with this?? Benton: Um... Yes... Yes. ::continues down the path, walking at a medium pace:: Pegret: ::narrator voice:: As Little Red Benton Hood skip--er, walked--down the path throught the deep dark woods with his pic-a-nic basket, he thought about how happy his girlfriend would be when she got it, since it was full of good things, like pies and neon gummy worms. Meach: ::offstage:: I get a basket?? Benton: ::obviously reading from a script:: Won't Kathy Martin Be Delighted To Get these Yummy Pies and Gummy Worms! ::aside:: Gummy worms?? Meach: ::offstage:: WHAT?? *KATHY* *MARTIN*!!!! PsychoKat: ::evil grin:: She sounds upset. ::runs backstage:: Pegret: ::narrator voice:: So Little Red Benton Hood hurried down the trail to Kathy Martin's house to deliver his basket of goodies. But suddenly, at a fork in the road, he heard a straaaaange noise! Benton: Oh, No! What Is That Straaaaange Noise?? Meach: ::jumps in from the scenery:: Hiya! ::wolf whistles:: Kateri: That's not the wolf I hired...! ::notices that PsychoKat is gone:: Psyche... Benton: Um... You're the wolf? Meach: I'll be anything you want me to be... Benton: Um... ::pulls script out of basket:: Excuse Me, Mr. Wolf, but Do You Know the Quickest Way to Kathy Martin's House? I Must Deliver These Goodies to her, so that She Will Feeeeel Better. ::pause:: But then, I'm not really in all that much of a hurry... ::smiles insinuatingly:: Meach: ::evil grin:: Minion #8: Hey! There's KIDS here! Peg: Oh, grow up. Pegret: ::narrator voice:: So the Big Bad Wolf--er--Meach--told Little Red Benton Hood that the right fork would save him time. Meach: Up for a stroll?? Benton: ::offers his arm:: Certainly! ::pause:: I really should at least drop off the basket, though. That Martin woman *is* sick. Meach: What say we take the...scenic route? Benton: Sounds like fun. ::they walk off down the right fork:: PsychoKat: ::drops down from a tree:: Hmm... This is where I come in... ::runs down left fork:: Pegret: But really, it was the LEFT fork that was shorter... While Little Red Benton Hood innocently followed the right fork, the Big Bad Wolf--er--PsychoKat--took the left. Kateri: ::flipping through script, agitated:: But... What... ARG! ::flings script:: I give up! Anything goes! Minions: ::exchange high-fives:: Peg: Okay, girls. Go help Psyche with the cabin. Minions: Break! ::run off:: Kateri: ::surveys empty stage:: Anyone else care to wreak havok before the scene change?? ::crickets:: Kateri: Okay, then. SCENE TWO!!! ~~~~SCENE TWO: Kathy Martin's Cottage~~~~ Pegret: ::clears throat:: When Little Red Benton Hood--um, and Meach, of course--reached the cottage, a straaaaange sight met his--their--eyes... Benton: Oh, No! Some One Has Broken In To Kathy's Cottage! Meach: What? Benton: ::shrug:: That's what the script says. Meach: Oh. ::opens door:: Benton: GASP! ::looks inside, does a double take:: Hey! It *is* trashed!! Meach: Whoa! Kathy: ::staggers out:: You... All... Your... Fault... ::collapses:: Benton: Whose fault? Meach: Well, she didn't really make it clear... PsychoKat: ::bounces out of the cottage carrying a large TV:: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Minions #1-7: ::Follow, carrying various and sundry things:: Minion #8: ::carrying large cookie jar:: Wait up! ::pause at front door:: I think she meant us, actually. ::grins:: See ya! ::runs off:: Benton: Ah... Meach: Oh, my. Benton: What should we do? Meach: What does the script say? Benton: Um... ::clears throat:: What big... ::pause:: That's not suitable for immature audiences! Meach: Lemmee see... ::reads:: Whoa! I should think not. ::shreds script:: Benton: Um... Director? Kateri: ::looks up from her magazine:: What? Benton: What should we do? Kateri: ::blink blink:: I don't care. ::shrug:: Benton: Um... All right then... ::to Meach:: Would you care to join me for a drink? Meach: Certainly! Benton: Well, then. ::Offers arm:: Meach: ::leaves with Benton:: I can't believe that stupid script... ::FADE TO BLACK:: ~~~~EPILOGUE: Studio Lounge~~~~ PsychoKat: ::watching TV with the Minions:: Pass the cookies... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ END. Comments? Criticisms? Cookies? Anyone live through it? Anyone... ENJOY it?? Lemmee know. <3 Peggy (& the Peeples in her Head, enjoying Kathy's cookies) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ONElist members are using Shared Files in great ways! http://www.onelist.com Are you? If not, see our homepage for details.