From: Melana Zin rating: pg to pg - 13 category: jj hr, a, f date: March 29, 1999 disclaimer: I do not own Jonny Quest, and I am not affiliated with those who do. No money WHATSOEVER is being made on this venture. Sad, but true. One Last Sunrise by Melana He heard a knock at his door, and tried to place where he was. “G’way” he yelled groggily, still under the heavy influence of sleep. He pulled his blue comforter over his head, and tried to block out the sound. “Jonny?” a feminine voice asked quietly. He was instantly up. “What is it Jess? Is something wrong?” “No, nothings wrong. I, oh, never mind. Sorry to wake you, you must be exhausted.” he heard her voice trailing off. He shoved his covers off and opened his door. Jessie was standing there. He couldn’t see her very well through the darkness, but he knew she had an old fuzzy green blanket pulled tightly over her shoulders, a familiar sight of late. He looked down at himself, half seeing his loose white tee and blue plaid shorts. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes with one hand, and reached out to Jessie with the other. “You really should not be up. Go,” she cut him off, a flash of anger in her bright green eyes. “I thought we already had this discussion last night. And almost everyday before that.” she said, as if provoked. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. You know I’m just worried about you.” he said, tracing his fingers lightly over the features of her jawbone. He could see something in her relent, but she wasn’t going to let him get away with it this easily. “I know you are, but that’s the problem. Everyone doesn't need to worry all the time. I hate that it’s all because of me.” he pulled her close, holding her tight and breathing in her scent. “It’s all because we love you. You better believe that.” “Oh Jonny, I do. And I love you all too. So much.” he felt the sudden sag in her frame, and led her over to the bed. She was getting worse, now she couldn’t stand on her own for more than a few minutes. “So why did you get me up in the middle of the night anyway?” he asked her, once they were seated. “It’s not the middle of the night, it’s almost six o’clock!” she told him. “Oh right, you early birds think this is a normal time to be waking up?” he joked. “I wanted you to watch the sunrise with me.” she said in a half whisper. He felt a sudden rise of tears, and struggled to keep them down. He knew Jessie would hate to see him cry over her. She was determined not to let anyone feel sad for her. She couldn’t understand it, couldn’t take it. She didn’t know, but sometimes he had seen her outside, early in the morning. She sat with her blanket on the dew wet grass at the edge of the cliff, watching the sin rise over the Atlantic ocean. He always thought about joining her, but he had a feeling that this was time she needed to herself. Inviting him to go with her surprised him, and he wondered if something more than she was letting on was happening. “Sure.” Together they walked down the stairs. Jonny kept his arm tight around her waist just in case she felt weak, but she was intense on doing this on her own. They walked out the back kitchen door, and across the wet grass. The air was cooler than it was during the day, now only about 75 degrees, and a slight breeze blew past them, smelling of salt and ruffling their hair. They sat at the place Jonny had seen Jess sitting many times before, both wrapped in Jessie’s blanket. “Jonny, have you ever thought serious about dying?” she asked suddenly, after both were comfortable. “Sometimes. When my mom died, I thought about it a lot. But I guess I’ve never really thought about what it would be like not to be in this world anymore.” “Do you think we all move on to a better place?” “I don’t know. I guess so. When I was little I believed that my mom was sitting on top of a star, watching over me. I used to make believe that she was queen of the star, and everyone would look up to her, and she’d say, ‘That’s my little boy over there on Earth.’ Now I believe that she is watching over all of us, though just not on top of a star. Why all this talk about dying? It’s not the most uplifting subject in the world.” “I know. But we’re all going to face it sometime, some of us sooner than later. We might as well just deal with it as a fact of life.” she reasoned. “True.” he murmured. “Aren't the stars gorgeous tonight?” she said, tilting her face to look up at the heavens. Jonny looked up too, studying the vastness of space with its tiny diamonds glittering within it. “The sun is almost ready to rise.” she noticed, looking over the horizon at the faint pokings of light graying the otherwise black sky. Jonny nodded without speaking. Jessie moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He put is arm around her, and they sat there quietly, watching the night transform into dawn. First the sky began to turn a faint gray, then a few beam of golden light flickered upward. The light turned the semi visible clouds a pale pink with a orange tinge around the edges, tinted with a pale greenish gold. As the sun shot out from behind the horizon, Jonny felt a sudden pang hit his heart. It was so beautiful, it made everything in life seem okay. Like everything was all right. But everything was not all right. It wasn’t fair that the two women he loved with all his heart had to be taken from him. It was as if God had some personal vendetta against him. Please, he pleaded, don’t take them from me. Rachel deserved to live, and so does Jess... please, I can’t take this anymore. It was too much, two forbidden tears fell from his eyes running in a stream down his face. “Jonny,” Jessie whispered. Her voice was raspy. “Don’t cry. Don’t cry Jonny, I love you.” She reached up with her hand and tenderly brushed his tears away. “Jess, it’s not fair...” “Life’s not fair.” she chided. Jonny looked down at her face. Her eyes were clean and pure, she had done her crying long ago. She looked peaceful, but not happy. Definitely not happy. Hadji used to tell him that to find peace was to find happiness. But he knew, looking at Jessie’s face, that he could never believe this. “Jess, I love you.” he said. “I love you too, Jon. You know that.” He looked up when the first bird of the day chirped, and when he looked down again Jessie’s eyes were closed. She looked as if she were sleeping, but he knew better when he felt the comforting rise and fall of her chest come to a slow halt. “No,” he choked, “Jess!” the tears were flowing freely now, as he held her close and rocked back and forth. He felt as if everything in his life had been washed away, as if a bright light had gone out inside him. And in many ways, one had. One week later: He sat, hunched up in a ball and balancing on his feet in front of the granite stone. The edge of his suit dragged in the fresh earth, but he didn’t care. All he could do was stay there and stare at the stone in front of him. He felt a light tap on is shoulder. His father was standing there, his eyes red rimmed and his face looking old and haggard. Jonny didn’t remember seeing him look this tired in over ten years. “Jon, this is for you.” he said, handing him a folded piece of paper. Jonny took it silently, a blank expression on his face. It was a note, written in blue ink on a looseleaf sheet of binder paper. He unfolded it, recognizing the handwriting at once. Jonny, I don’t know when you’ll find this. But I know that when you finally do I wont be with you anymore. I can’t sleep. I just keep thinking about what it would be like not to feel all the love and have my family around me. I’m scared. I’m trying to be honest here, I don’t want to leave with some things unsaid. You have to take care of everyone for me, please. I know I can trust you. You’ve been my best friend since I can remember, and I love you so much. I know that my dad will probably be taking this pretty hard. There’s not much you can do, just make sure he doesn’t ever think that it’s his fault. It’s not. It’s no one’s fault. It was just meant to be this way. At least I keep telling myself that. I know in my mind that this is true, but my heart doesn’t want to leave, not yet. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling I should write this. Maybe somehow I know that I wont be here much longer. I’m thinking of asking you to come out with me. I know you love your sleep, but I want you to watch the sunrise with me. I’ve been doing it a lot lately, it’s the one time I feel peace, like every things going to be okay. No matter what happens. And every thing is going to be okay. It may not seem like that now, but trust me, I know that in time everything will work itself out. So anyway, I just wanted to write this. I’ll come get you in a few hours. I know I wont be able to sleep, although I’m so exhausted. I don’t want to leave. I know you’ll come with me, to watch one last sunrise. So, was it beautiful? All my love, Jessie 3:57 am July 17, 2000 He couldn’t cry anymore. He felt dry and empty inside, sitting there in the shade. Thinking of her letter did bring him some peace. He read it over, and over, and over again. He touched the ink, trying to picture her there, sitting at her desk, writing this. Alive. As he folded it up and placed it tightly in his palm, he stretched as he stood. His knees protested, but the pain didn’t seem real. Before he turned he looked at her headstone, thinking of her one last sunrise. Jessica A. Bannon June 1, 1981 - July 17, 2000 *** comments are extremely appriciative, as always! melana zin _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Start a new hobby. Meet a new friend. http://www.onelist.com Onelist: The leading provider of free email list services