From: JQFMelissa@aol.com To: JQML@onelist.com, bdvorak@worldnet.att.net Date: Tue, 23 Mar 1999 20:41:22 EST Subject: [JQML] [FIC] Dear Light Hair Bleach Co. Message-ID: Return-path: Reply-To: JQML@onelist.com Received: from mx1.boston.juno.com (mx1.boston.juno.com [207.205.100.50]) by x2.boston.juno.com (8.8.6.Beta0/8.8.6.Beta0/2.0.kim) with ESMTP id UAAAA18982 for ; Tue, 23 Mar 1999 20:42:40 -0500 (EST) Received: from onelist.com (pop.onelist.com [209.207.164.221]) by mx1.boston.juno.com (8.8.6.Beta0/8.8.6.Beta0/2.0.kim) with SMTP id UAAAA21862 for ; Tue, 23 Mar 1999 20:42:34 -0500 (EST) Received: (qmail 11689 invoked by alias); 24 Mar 1999 02:08:37 -0000 Received: (qmail 11624 invoked from network); 24 Mar 1999 02:08:36 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO imo22.mx.aol.com) (198.81.17.66) by pop.onelist.com with SMTP; 24 Mar 1999 02:08:36 -0000 Received: from JQFMelissa@aol.com by imo22.mx.aol.com (IMOv19.3) id hBBSa07868; Tue, 23 Mar 1999 20:41:22 +1900 (EST) X-Status: Read X-Mailer: AOL 4.0 for Windows 95 sub 13 X-Juno-Att: 0 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit From: JQFMelissa@aol.com We began business letters in Word Processing today and all of a sudden it just came to me. Disclaimer: I don't own Jonny Quest. Light Hair Bleach Co. is made up, along with its other products. Any resemblance is a coincidence. Methylchloroisothiazolinone is just something I read on the ingredients on my shampoo bottle, I don't know what it does. All area codes and addresses are made up, so don't write to them. Category: Humor Archivers: Please, you'll make me happy, just tell me where. Dear Light Haired Bleach Co. By Melissa Quest Compound Rockport, Maine 12875 March 23, 1999 Light Hair Bleach Co. 243 Leary Drive Springland, Maryland 12222 Dear Light Hair Bleach Co. I regularly bleach my hair with your product because I like to keep my hair its "natural shade of blond". When you recently changed the chemicals in your product I was surprised but pleaded. I hoped that this would be an improvement. However, when I applied the mew product, I woke up with my hair a mice shade of lavender. While I like the color lavender, I don't appreciate it in my hair, especially because now my friends are beginning to suspect even more that I bleach my hair. I am requesting a product refund, as specified on your bottle. I am enclosing the batch code and receipt. Sincerely, Jonny Quest Quest Compound Rockport, Maine 12875 March 23, 1999 Light Hair bleach Co. 243 Leary Dr. Springland, Maryland 12222 Dear Light Hair Bleach Co.: Yesterday I received a case of your Newly Formulated Blonde/White hair bleach. As no one in my household could possibly use this product, it is clearly a mistake. I am retuning the case, with postage paid. Sincerely, Dr. Benton Quest PS Please send me a copy of your catalogue to the address above. Quest Compound Rockport, Maine 12875 March 23, 1999 Light Haired Bleach Co. 243 Leary Drive Springport, Maryland, 12222 Dear Light Haired Bleach Co.: Several people in my household use your hair bleach product. As a founder of many scientific discoveries, I was interested in your product's results. After scientifically analyzing your product and conducting several experiments, I have concluded that it may contain chemicals which are hazardous to people's health. One of the main results severely affects the brain. It impairs logical thinking and induces irrational behavior in the person who uses it. I am enclosing a copy of my findings and credentials. I would also like to order the following: 3 bottle of Super White as Moonlight Linen Bleach $19.95 Shipping and Handling 4.95 Tax 1.86 total 26.76 I am enclosing a check for the above amount. Sincerely, Hadji Singh Quest Compound Rockport, Maine 12874 March 23, 1999 Light Hair Bleach Co. 243 Leary Drive Springport, Maryland 12222 Dear Light Hair Bleach Co.: I have been a satisfied costumer of your product for over 20 years. When your product changed it's chemical formula, I was pleased. Having been through several of such changes, I was reminded that one must let the old bleach run out before applying the new or undesired hair color may result. I am writing to suggest that you print this in your labels int he future. I would also like to order 1 box of Animal Bleach at $19.95. I understand that Animal Bleach is mot to be used around the animals eyes or will be subject to charges by the SPCA. Sincerely, Race Bannon Quest Compound Rockport, Maine 12873 March 23, 1999 Light Hair Bleach Co. 243 Leary Drive Springport, Maryland 12222 Dear Light Hair Bleach Co.: First, I would to thank you for changing the chemicals in you products to the ones I suggested after reading my report on the allergic effects of Methylchloroisothiazolinone. I would also like to thank you for changing the colors your labels to color-coded labels. Third, thank you again for delivering the package to the address I had requested. Last, I would like to say I am very pleased that you desidedto add the 10 new shades to your linen bleaches that I suggested. Sincerely, Jessica Bannon Jessie laughed as a scream from Race sounded down the hall. "Light Brown! Ahhhh!" "Whoops," she said, "forgot you were colorblind, dad." "Ahhhhhh!" Another scream. "White as Moonlight on a Hazy Night in Mid-July!" Jessie gigled. "My fault again I suppose." She rolled over laughing onto her bed an dhugged a balck colored bandit. "Sometimes I think you and me are the only sane ones in this house boy." Bandit barked. FIN PLEEZZE send me comments. Till later Melissa ------------------------------------------------------------------------ We are proud as punch of our new web site! http://www.onelist.com Onelist: The leading provider of free email community services